Tearing down the house

I spend a lot of time working on my life. I work on my home (keeping it clean and decorating it), I work on my appearance (working out and making an effort to look good), my relationship with the Lord, my marriage, my music, etc. I have felt like I have been putting everything I have into building up my life. I was pouring out my heart to God and asking, "Why am I still not happy? Why am I unsatisfied? My life is fine but my heart is aching." I then read through some verses and found this one that slapped me in the face: 

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
Proverbs 14:1

Theodore Roosevelt said that "Comparison is the thief of joy." I was looking around at the lives of other people around me, people who struggle with different things than I do, and completely ignoring what the Lord had given me.

I was building my house just to take a sledgehammer to it.

I got absolutely wrecked by this truth. I have an amazing life, but getting my enjoyment of it based on how it was different (better or worse) than another woman's life. My problem was pride.

I was pretty ashamed of this, and I didn't know where to go from there. Then I remembered. God chose me before I was even born. I didn't do anything to deserve his love. I am a daughter, not a slave coming broken and ashamed before his throne.

A friend described her habit of standing in front of a mirror and praying when she felt bad about herself. She would evaluate the negative thoughts against what she knew the Lord thought of her.

"I'm fat, which makes me undesirable."
 You are chosen and loved. 
"Well, I'm unhealthy and I don't feel good."
You were created to have life abundant, and your habits are in the way.

She would come to the conclusion that her worth was not determined by the lumps and bumps she saw, but by the love of her Father. This did not mean that she didn't have room for improvement. It just meant that her worth was not tied to her successes or failures.

This is liberating! I have the ability and commission to improve, but I am not going to lose the love of my Lord if I fail!

This is one of those things that makes you want to dance around and celebrate, so for that I leave you with my dear friend Molly Skaggs' song:

Be blessed!!!

Caroline