How to Respond to "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged"

No matter how hard you try, you can only see things from your own perspective. You can try to imagine what someone in a different situation would feel, and that is sympathy. To give people advice or life coaching, you need to have a strong enough imagination to put yourself into the shoes of someone who opposes your ideas.

I understand the reasoning behind "23 things to do instead of getting engaged before you're 23", but the language is borderline hateful and pretty closed-minded. Most of my friends that posted the article are neither of those things. If you do not feel ready to get married young, don't get married young. If you find the person you are supposed to be with and feel like God is leading you to a young marriage, marry them up already.

The article was written from a world view that feels like marriage limits your adventure, but what marriage really does is force you to grow up. I believe that there are a ton of really mature unmarried people out there, and I think that marriage might be a little easier for them since they are already so adult. However, selfishness has no room in a healthy and happy marriage (let alone a healthy and happy life!). You can do many of the things on the article's list without being selfish, like adopting a pet or starting a business.

If you are young and married and have seen this article all over your friends' Facebooks like I have, don't get offended or let your feelings get hurt. You have made a decision that is right for your life, and it probably took you some time to come to that decision. Don't expect someone who you barely know to understand your inner motivations in a Facebook comment.
Inappropriate:  "I can't believe you would post that! My husband and I love each other and this is an attack on our marriage directly."
Appropriate:  Just don't comment. :)


If you are unmarried and can't imagine tying yourself down, don't worry. Enjoy your life and come over to your married friends' for dinner. If you find yourself wanting to shame them for their life decision, don't. Expand your perspective and speak out of love.
Inappropriate: "Why did you get married and tie yourself down/lose your sense of adventure/are you pregnant?"
Appropriate: "How did you decide that it was the right time for you and your husband to get married?"

Speak out of love and everything will work out.

Caroline