For Better or For Worse

This phrase is used pretty consistently in society to express that something is not desired or not the best outcome.

"Well, I guess that's our new president, for better or for worse."

"I'm stuck in this job, for better or for worse."

"I guess I have to stay with you, for better or for worse."

I think that this phrase is one of the most exciting parts of the entire covenant. Who else better to lean on in the dark times than someone who has literally vowed before God that they will stand by you, for better or for worse?

Jump up and down! Get excited! This is AWESOME!

Need I list the "worse" parts of life that the enemy throws at us?

• Stress
• Anxiety
• Money troubles
• Friend troubles
• HOMEWORK
• Job insecurity
• ANY kind of insecurity

This list is not all-inclusive, obviously. The other side of it is the hard part of marriage, the fact that you are two people who have grown up for at least 18 years in different families, most likely went to different high schools, and have different ways of viewing the world. When you look at the human part of marriage, the fact that marriage is a uniting of two people, it's a miracle that it ever works.
The world likes to try to get us to believe that you should stay married "as long as you're in love." The great Dietrich Bonhoeffer said it differently:

“It is not your love that sustains the marriage,
but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.”

           -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

We are called as Christians to live in ways that are totally upside down from the rest of the world. This is a radical act, to stay in love with someone because of your marriage. I'm going to go into that more when I get to the vow, "to love and cherish", but for today, that love means realizing that problems are temporary, vows are not. I am not a divorcee-hater, but I'd venture to say they would agree with me that if you can avoid divorce, do your absolute best.

We have been learning this vow lately as I have been going through some depression and physical sickness. I can be a "black hole of suckiness" (Everett's words) when I get depressed. He has been sticking by my side in little ways that help immensely. The other day at Subway, I didn't want anything because my appetite was just not there. He fixed it by ordering my favorite sub (which is not his favorite!) and making me split it with him. The next day he took me out to breakfast at my favorite local spot after driving himself to and from his 8 am class just to let me sleep late.

Last night he had a headache and came home burnt out from teaching. I decided to match his effort at "loving you at your worst" by making pizza and turning on a samurai movie. Let me tell you girls, no matter how much you hate the sound of a sword slicing through the neck of a peasant, it somehow does wonders for a man's soul.

Challenge yourself this week to directionality. When the going gets tough, get excited. This is where the really big growth and unconditional love kicks in.

Happy Good Friday!

--Caroline