Friends

You NEED them. I don't mean you need to have a long list of people you chat with on Facebook, or girls that you tell "Oh hey let's hang out sometime!" and never get around to it. You need women in your life because your husband does not possess the necessary amounts of estrogen to understand why you can worry about the cleaning and your homework and your weight and world issues and so on and so on, all at the same time. My pastor brought up the old spaghetti-waffles analogy: Men are like waffles--they move from square to square in their thought processes. We are like spaghetti. Every problem is connected to ten more problems. My husband said he likes to match a problem with a solution, while I apparently connect problems to problems. 

Your girlfriends will understand this, not because you explain it so eloquently as you try to for your husband, but because they go through the same thing. I spent the first 19 years of my life begging God for a friend that I could be truly close and vulnerable with, and boy did he provide. I have a friend that makes tea and bakes organic homemade pies when I show up on the front steps of her farmhouse crying. I have a friend who inspires me to be more artistic in my worship and more worshipful in my art. I have a friend who I can geek out with over Doctor who and discuss deep spiritual truths with. This last friend is engaged, and we know each other's hearts.

WARNING: Having girl friends can tempt you to vent about your husband. DO NOT do this. You may have a rough morning with him, but you can forgive him and talk it out in the evening. If you tell your friend in the afternoon, she won't forget, she'll rarely forgive, and she'll start to resent your husband because giving her this deep a glimpse into your marriage is too small a picture for her to understand.  My friend and I have a pact:
I can vent about my husband/fiance because I need support and advice, but I promise to take all of your complaints with a grain of salt and to never let it influence my opinion of your man.

This is SUCH an important safeguard, but I recommend you only have it with one person. Too many and it starts to become gossip and an indicator of a deeper problem. 

Invest in your girls, don't let your marriage suck you out of the world. Your hubby comes first, but the friendships you make now will not only last (some of them), but they can set the framework for how you handle friendships throughout the course of your marriage. Take them out for coffee, invite them over, go shopping (responsibly!).

You've got this.

--Caroline