Second Trimester High

So I recently posted about my troubles with the first trimester when I had just crossed the mark of reaching the second trimester. As soon as my morning sickness ended, I was hit with a massive head cold with no doctor-approved medicines in sight. I struggled with some depression and self pity (not gonna lie, definitely spent several afternoons crying to friends about how I was never going to feel good again).

I had no idea.

I feel like dancing and singing. This is the trimester that tempts women into pregnancy! I feel cute, I'm in real maternity clothes, and I can EAT. Holy cow, can I eat. I can't eat much at one time, but I need food every two hours and I need it RIGHT THEN. Cravings are real and I have spent so long not wanting food that I am praising the Lord for every one of them. No food tastes as good as the food you've been obsessing over for hours. I ate a pint of egg drop soup in 15 minutes in a Kmart parking lot because I couldn't wait to get home but I wanted to drive away from the Chinese restaurant.

I'm attempting to fill up on fruits and veggies primarily, especially now that my veggie aversions are gone, and I feel like I'm doing alright. I lost a few pounds in my first trimester and weigh less now than I have in about a year, so I feel ok doing a little bit of catching up. Small and frequent meals are what my tummy wants, so that's what I'm doing!

Side note: why did no one tell me how incredible maternity clothes are? I feel like Joey with his Thanksgiving pants. These things are literally the greatest. They smooth out lumps instead of creating them (I'm looking at you, Forever 21 skinnies) and are the most comfortable thing I've ever put on my body. I love my new jeans and shirts. I'm wearing horizontal stripes til the end.

Pregnancy Log:

How far along: 16 weeks
Total weight gain: -5
Maternity clothes: Most of my outfits. All of my bottoms excluding yoga pants.
Stretch marks: None
Sleep: Sleeping a lot. Accidentally slept in til 11 today.
Best moment of this week: first flutters/kicks!
Miss anything: Not really
Movement: first ones this week!!
Food cravings: A couple (Chinese, etc.) Mostly just starving all the time.

Holding on to this high for as long as I can!

--Caroline

The Secret Life of a Preggo: First Trimester

I have not posted about my pregnancy until now for one reason: It has been really freaking hard. Here's a small sampling of thoughts that I've had in my first trimester since I got used to the idea that I am pregnant:

First Trimester

1. WHOA where did this chest come from??
2. Who invented underwires and were they a masochist??
3. "Exercise will make you feel better." Lies.
4. I need some cheese RIGHT NOW.
5. ...and Blow Pops.
6. Why does my house smell like popcorn? We don't even have a microwave! THE NEIGHBOR.
7. I can't do the dishes ever again. Food is disgusting. 
8.  Oh look how cute! My belly is growing!
9. *crying* Nothing fits and I don't look pregnant, I just look fat!
10. I want my cat and dog to be right beside me forever.
11. I wish my cat and dog would leave me ALONE.
12. Should I eat this or will I regret that choice if it comes back up?
13. Why do my tailbone and hips hurt so bad?
14. The mango sorbet just ran out. Famine in our household. Sackcloth and mourning.
15. (addressing my bed with memory foam pillow and memory foam mattress topper) You're never gonna forget me.
16. Am I good at red-flagging troublesome names or just getting really good at making fun of children? (I'm extra sensitive to this because our last name is one letter away from ridicule status--the I and O are next to each other on the keyboard)

Of course, I've also thought about the normal (non-crazy person) things like how to stay healthy, whether it'll be a boy or a girl, and what to name them. I'm officially 14 weeks along and OUT of the first trimester (PRAISE THE LORD) and I feel like I've turned a glorious corner. I may go back into the morning sickness but I'm believing in faith that I'm out of it for good.

Here are a few things that helped get me through all the changes:

1. Genie Bra

My ladies got real big, real fast. I actually had to sit in my car for a few minutes after I reached my destination to put my bra back on because I could not stand to drive with it on. This happened on multiple occasions. The underwires started cutting into my growing abdomen and my boobs rebelled against stiff cages. I hate the way sports bras turn everything into one unit, but this bra has no wires, no hooks, and keeps the girls "locked and loaded" as Clinton Kelly would say.

2. Preggie Pops

Candy that helps relieve morning sickness? Sign me up! I kept a couple of these puppies stashed in my purse at all times. They worked great to help distract me from the nausea and boost my blood sugar when I was feeling faint.


3. The Alternative Guide to Baby Names

Ok, I know it's silly. We were having a bookstore date and Everett picked this up for me. Some of the names are hysterically hipster, but some are adorable! We have definitely gotten a few cute ideas from this book, but it's mostly a great way to pass the time when I'm not bowing before the porcelain throne.

4. 42 Fruits and Vegetables

My midwife recommended this for me to start taking since I couldn't get a ton of fruits and veggies down. I had a terrible aversion to raw veggies, and this was a great way to supplement my diet. (Obviously talk with your doctor about any pill you put in your body, but this is a pretty low risk vitamin since it literally is just a bunch of plant foods.)

5. Nutribullet

In addition to the above vitamins, I made a lot of smoothies in our Nutribullet. We bought it together for Valentine's Day rather than going out for a huge date. Since it comes so soon after Christmas and Everett's birthday, we like to spend our money on something that helps us to be healthier rather than on chocolate and little gifts. In the Nutribullet, I put a ton of fruits and veggies and juice, because I figured that if I can get a smoothie down, I'll absorb something quick even if I lose all the contents of my stomach. I added spirulina for a bigger boost (definitely cut it with a lot of sweet fruits) and loved it.





NOTE:
I'm excited to share the next months of my pregnancy here, but I'll go ahead and apologize if you came here looking solely for marriage advice. I can't focus on anything but the baby right now and I haven't been able to really study the stuff I usually address here. I will get back to it at some point but I'm giving you fair warning, baby blasts ahead!

A Quiet Afternoon

So far, my pregnancy has made me so sick and tired that I spend a lot of my day resting alone.  I'm finding beauty in the quiet places and in the still moments. I've enjoyed it so much, I've put together a little list of things to give you your own afternoon of rejuvenation to comfort your heart.

1. Father Gillick on Shame.
I am obsessed with one talk that Father Larry Gillick did that centers on shame. It wrecks me every time I listen to it.  Download it, put your headphones in, and cry your way through washing dishes like I do.

2. The Cageless Birds Live at Home
This is a series of live videos recorded in the Helsers' home here in North Carolina. Each song is written by a member of The Cageless Birds, an art collective focused on creative worship. This song by Molly Skaggs is my personal favorite (I've featured an old video here before), but watch them all! The album is also now on iTunes.


Invitation | Molly Skaggs | Live at Home from A Place for the Heart on Vimeo.

3. Future | Past by John Mark McMillan
Ok, so I'm a little biased on this one. (I'm in this video along with my husband). The song, however, is unbelievable and speaks for itself.

4. Drink some tea!!
My favorite is Earl Grey (Earl Grey Tea 30ct Eco Canister from: Teatulia) but herbal teas are great for relaxation. Wrap up in a nice throw (pick one up here:15% off Select Throw Blankets at Zinc Door (1/15-2/14) or go to Ross and get a $15 blanket) and take a little nap. You deserve it.

BONUS! Free printable guided journal to complete your relaxation! (Click here to download PDF)

---Caroline

The Biggest News

If you follow me on any social media, you probably know the big news by now!

We are so excited. Being a mother is my ultimate dream, and I can't wait to meet my little hobbit.

I am currently ten weeks pregnant, which means that I had my birthday, Thanksgiving, 25 straight days of gigs (including a 16 day cross-country tour) and everything surrounding Christmas all while totally unaware that my body was supporting a new little life. I was exhausted, but brushed it off and figured it was just the hectic schedule I had been keeping. I had a lot of early pregnancy symptoms, but I took a total of SIX home pregnancy tests over the past two months, all which came out negative. I figured I was either having a really long cycle (not unusual for me) or my hormones were going wacko from stress.

I ended up going to the doctor on January 9th for nausea, and got a pregnancy test while I was there. The doctor walked in the room holding it and I started crying. It took me a few days to really process the realness of the situation, but now I'm so overwhelmed with nausea and fatigue I can't deny the obvious!

I am doing a ton of research about what kind of birth I want to have, but right now I'm really leaning towards a natural birthing center. I love learning about all my options, so I'll keep researching until I find what I think is best for me and my baby with my health history. I am going in for my first ultrasound on January 29th, when I will either confirm or debunk Everett's twin hunch. (!!!) I am so excited to see my little one; so far, the only real evidence has been feeling like total crap and wanting to only wear stretchy pants.

During my pregnancy, we are going to be continuing work as musicians both on the road and in the studio, but I will be ramping up my art business over the spring and summer so that I can have something to do with the baby at home when I am not playing out as much. We are trying to save as much money as we can, but are also trying to find a new place to live with a little more room for our little one. If you want to help support us in this crazy time, feel free to shop at my store!

I will be keeping this blog focused on relationships and marriage, but will update it with my baby bump progress and any more big news.

Lots of love,

--Caroline

New Venture and Free Printable

As a musician, I have learned that there is no magic bullet that is the one thing to fulfill me artistically and pay all our bills. We do so many different jobs that I have considered having business cards printed with "Caroline Hardin: __________", and filling the blank with whatever job we are doing that day.

If you follow me on Instagram (@hardincaroline), you probably have noticed a crazy amount of drawings, quotes, and illustrations. I have had so much fun filling up my new Etsy shop with goodies. I love drawing and collecting quotes, so having a place to share both of those is a true blessing. If you haven't made it over yet, you can use the code MRSDEGREE to get 25% off your order until January 10th.

Here's a little present to encourage you in the new year! The quote is from one of my all time favorite books, Fugitive Pieces by Anne Michaels. Give it a read, but keep some tissues handy.

Download Here

Happy New Year!

Caroline

"Starter Advice". So you're getting married...

I got an email from a reader a while ago, and I loved her honesty and candor so much. She asked that I answer a few questions for "starter advice", and I think it's a great idea. We've been married a year and a half, so we're still beginners in a lot of ways. I remember before we got married, however, and it was daunting to look at marriage blogs and see all the things I had to master to be a good wife.

Here's the thing: You and your betrothed chose each other because you have some crazy idea that you will be able to make life work together. If God stays in the middle, you will. The warm fuzzies will come and go, but sooner than you think, they will be replaced by a different kind of love that sustains and fulfills.

The reader asked a few specific questions, so I'm going to address those before adding my own starter advice:

Q: What were your first steps in financial planning? Do you have any sort of budget you go by?

A: We had a strange situation being musicians, since we literally never know how much money we will make any given week. We could plan to eat rice and beans, and get a call on Wednesday that we have a great paying gig on Saturday. However, I would refer you to an older post I wrote on giving money its due diligence: For Richer, For Poorer. Tithing is the most important thing you can do. It's like taking your budget to the chiropractor: Once you get the head in line, the rest just sort of follows suit. I'm not saying it's easy, because it isn't. Communication and clear expectations are the keys to financial talks within your marriage. As for budgeting, I like to refer to Dave Ramsey. His advice is solid and I've seen a lot of people take control of their finances with his systems. (go to Dave Ramsey's website for more)

Q: How do you juggle school and work?

A: When I was in school and working at the same time, I honestly struggled a lot. School is meant to be a full time occupation, and work takes up some of that time. When you are in this situation, time is your greatest commodity. Don't wait until the end of the semester to realize that. You will not be able to take off work when your classes hit that end-of-semester workload, so plan ahead and balance your work throughout the semester. Take time for yourself, but keep in mind that this is a season that will pass, not a lifestyle that you must maintain for the rest of your life. Love on your husband and communicate that you need his support in this crazy time. We go into marriage with a lot of lofty expectations, but some seasons we need to strip back to bare bones functioning just to come out on the other side unscathed. (see Unrealistic Expectations for more)

My Starter Advice (in addition to the above):

1. Go ahead and find someone you can talk to about your marriage without fear. Not your husband, not your mom. Do this before the wedding if you can, and don't be a bridezilla and alienate them! I briefly wrote in an earlier post, "Friends" about having a mutual pact with a friend that no matter what, you would not hate each others' husband. This has allowed me to really open up and be told that I'm wrong, given godly advice on how to handle the situation, or both.

2. Get rid of stuff. If you are like I was, you are bringing the majority of the possessions into the marriage. Boys just don't think about how cute that vase would be sitting on the bookshelf next to the decorative antique books. You do need things to make your house feel like a home, but you don't need three of each. I am still doing this and cannot believe the amount of things I held onto. (this applies to clothes too!)

3. Volunteer. This one is a bit off-the-wall, but the number one destroyer of marriage is selfishness. Volunteer and get in the habit of being selfless and servant-hearted, because you are going to need it.

4. Find a few verses to cling to during a rough time. I like Psalm 27:14, Proverbs 16:24, and Psalm 23:6 posted up around my house so I can repeat them over and over when I am about to blow a gasket. (The last two are available here) You need reminders of how loved you are when your head is spinning with anger or hurt feelings.

5. Find and subscribe to good resources. Personally, I subscribe to Unveiled Wife and Proverbs 31 Ministries for a daily read. They are always good, not always relevant to young wives, but solid in scriptural backing. (If you subscribed to me I'd be honored! Go to Bloglovin or follow in the sidebar!)

6. Keep looking. Never assume that you have everything figured out. There is always somewhere deeper to go.

I hope this helps you breathe a little easier as you enter this new season!

Caroline

How to Respond to "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged"

No matter how hard you try, you can only see things from your own perspective. You can try to imagine what someone in a different situation would feel, and that is sympathy. To give people advice or life coaching, you need to have a strong enough imagination to put yourself into the shoes of someone who opposes your ideas.

I understand the reasoning behind "23 things to do instead of getting engaged before you're 23", but the language is borderline hateful and pretty closed-minded. Most of my friends that posted the article are neither of those things. If you do not feel ready to get married young, don't get married young. If you find the person you are supposed to be with and feel like God is leading you to a young marriage, marry them up already.

The article was written from a world view that feels like marriage limits your adventure, but what marriage really does is force you to grow up. I believe that there are a ton of really mature unmarried people out there, and I think that marriage might be a little easier for them since they are already so adult. However, selfishness has no room in a healthy and happy marriage (let alone a healthy and happy life!). You can do many of the things on the article's list without being selfish, like adopting a pet or starting a business.

If you are young and married and have seen this article all over your friends' Facebooks like I have, don't get offended or let your feelings get hurt. You have made a decision that is right for your life, and it probably took you some time to come to that decision. Don't expect someone who you barely know to understand your inner motivations in a Facebook comment.
Inappropriate:  "I can't believe you would post that! My husband and I love each other and this is an attack on our marriage directly."
Appropriate:  Just don't comment. :)


If you are unmarried and can't imagine tying yourself down, don't worry. Enjoy your life and come over to your married friends' for dinner. If you find yourself wanting to shame them for their life decision, don't. Expand your perspective and speak out of love.
Inappropriate: "Why did you get married and tie yourself down/lose your sense of adventure/are you pregnant?"
Appropriate: "How did you decide that it was the right time for you and your husband to get married?"

Speak out of love and everything will work out.

Caroline

Free Printable!

Here's a little treat to hold you over until I get my shop set up :)

Download Free Printable Here

Tearing down the house

I spend a lot of time working on my life. I work on my home (keeping it clean and decorating it), I work on my appearance (working out and making an effort to look good), my relationship with the Lord, my marriage, my music, etc. I have felt like I have been putting everything I have into building up my life. I was pouring out my heart to God and asking, "Why am I still not happy? Why am I unsatisfied? My life is fine but my heart is aching." I then read through some verses and found this one that slapped me in the face: 

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
Proverbs 14:1

Theodore Roosevelt said that "Comparison is the thief of joy." I was looking around at the lives of other people around me, people who struggle with different things than I do, and completely ignoring what the Lord had given me.

I was building my house just to take a sledgehammer to it.

I got absolutely wrecked by this truth. I have an amazing life, but getting my enjoyment of it based on how it was different (better or worse) than another woman's life. My problem was pride.

I was pretty ashamed of this, and I didn't know where to go from there. Then I remembered. God chose me before I was even born. I didn't do anything to deserve his love. I am a daughter, not a slave coming broken and ashamed before his throne.

A friend described her habit of standing in front of a mirror and praying when she felt bad about herself. She would evaluate the negative thoughts against what she knew the Lord thought of her.

"I'm fat, which makes me undesirable."
 You are chosen and loved. 
"Well, I'm unhealthy and I don't feel good."
You were created to have life abundant, and your habits are in the way.

She would come to the conclusion that her worth was not determined by the lumps and bumps she saw, but by the love of her Father. This did not mean that she didn't have room for improvement. It just meant that her worth was not tied to her successes or failures.

This is liberating! I have the ability and commission to improve, but I am not going to lose the love of my Lord if I fail!

This is one of those things that makes you want to dance around and celebrate, so for that I leave you with my dear friend Molly Skaggs' song:

Be blessed!!!

Caroline

God's Gift to Men

I'm referring to God's gift to your man, specifically.

Guess what it is?

YOU!

Before you start walking around all puffed up and self-centered treating your man like he's so lucky that he ever got you, let me explain.

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. 
Genesis 2:18 

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
Proverbs 31:10

He who finds a wife finds a good things and obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22

House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.  
Proverbs 19:14

You: imperfect, maybe-not-as-thin-as-you-want, sometimes crazy, often not even understanding yourself, are a gift from God to your husband.

Let that sink in.

God loves you so much already, but he also loves your husband. Sometimes that's easy to forget when you are in the heat of an argument or the drudgery of everyday life. He loves your husband so much that he decided he needed help. When you married your husband, you became a vehicle of love. You ARE the Lord's favor when it comes to your husband's life!!

You are like a spoon in a bowl of God's love. Your husband could just stick his face in the bowl and get it himself, but how much better is it that you get to deliver the most incredible love there is!

It is easy to remember that he is intimately loved by God when he is:

• cute
• flirting with you
• doing dishes
• doing any chores
• standing up for you
• etc, etc.

It is NOT as easy to remember that he is a son of the kingdom when he is:

• arguing with you
• sitting on the couch while you do chores
• being rude
• arguing with you

Here's the thing: He will always be a child of God. God will never stop loving him, and that takes some of the pressure off of you. I don't know about you, but thinking that I am totally responsible for providing all the love my husband needs 24/7 is daunting at the least. Realizing that I just have to let the Lord work through me is so comforting. I'm just a delivery girl, not the producer.

No one has seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and His Love is made complete in us. 
1 John 4:12

Delightful Dinner

My car has been putting me through the wringer over the past month. The alternator was sending surges of electricity to the engine, which blew out the headlights. The battery then died right before my shift at work, leaving me stranded at our apartment until a friend came to my rescue. We bought a new battery and alternator, and Everett installed them. On his way to lunch after fixing the car, the belt broke. He then fixed that, and drove home as quickly and carefully as he could.

Luckily for him, I had a delicious dinner waiting and ready as soon as he got back.

I started with some roasted chickpeas, a new recipe that I modified from several on Pinterest.

Roasted Chickpeas

Ingredients:

• 1 can of chickpeas (garbanzo beans)
• olive oil
• garlic powder
• salt

Directions:

1. Drain can of beans and dump onto cookie sheet. 
2. Broil at 525 degrees for 10 minutes.
3. Shake cookie sheet to move beans and broil for 5 more minutes.
4. Dump beans into bowl and toss with oil, garlic and salt. 
5. Place back into the oven and roast until brown.

 Next, I made some of my "original recipe" creamed corn.

Creamed Corn

Ingredients:

• Can of yellow corn
• 1 cup of milk 
• salt
• cinnamon

Directions:

1. Drain corn and dump into pan. 
2. Cook without water or oil for about 5 minutes so that the sugars in the corn can caramelize.
3. Turn heat to low, add 1 cup of milk.
4. Add salt and cinnamon to taste, let simmer.

For the main course, I had a garlic and peppercorn pork loin from Trader Joe's that I cooked in the crockpot with my secret marinade for 6 hours. (My marinade is so secret that I don't even know what it is, I just dump things in until I think it will taste good!)

Look at those eyes!

The chickpeas were so yummy! I'll definitely be making some for healthy snacks later on. I served the pork on pita bread toasted with oil and garlic salt, and I think I've found the bread I'm going to serve barbeque on forever. Everett is obsessed with that corn recipe. Obsessed. We later ruined the health benefits finished it off by going to the local snowcone stand, and got silly with sugar highs.

The (rather simplistic) moral of the story is that if lots of things go wrong, control what you can and make delicious food to make the day a good one.

Break's over, y'all!

I want to apologize to you! I have been overwhelmed with school and work, and have not been able to update this blog in WEEKS. I have recently left my job and will have more time to pursue the things I love in life, including writing.

I sit on our couch in the living room with my husband and our dear friend, watching River Monsters, and I am so happy. My "Hayride" candle is burning and there is a bushel of apples on the coffee table.We are listening to scratch recordings from other members of our band, which is reuniting at long last.

I have made the decision to pursue a living as a full-time musician. God is so crazy in the ways he works. I lost my desire to be a full-time musician after a year and a half of music school, and instead became a business major and ran full speed after a career in business. After several years of business school and a foray into the corporate world, the Lord has reawakened the desire in my heart to make a living as a musician. Here's the crazy part: All of that business training is exactly what I needed to learn in order to successfully make it as a musician.

I could not have thought of this plan myself. Who but the Lord could create such a crafty plan, working with the desires of my heart to train me to be exactly what he wanted?

I'll be back with some actual posts later this week, but I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still here and I'm in it for the long haul!

--Caroline

Easy Homemade Bread

Time for the promised recipe post!

I found this recipe on Pinterest (original source), and it worked amazingly. I love making fresh bread, but I sometimes find it difficult to schedule my day around the rising and kneading schedule. This bread, however, is the quickest one I have ever done. It makes two loaves, and they are big enough to eat one and share one with a friend. (Side note: giving someone a fresh loaf of bread as a hostess gift is one of the most show-stopping things you can do!) If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, this is that gorgeous bread I've posted pictures of in the past.

Here's the recipe!

Ingredients:
2 cups warm water
1 packet yeast
2 tablespoons sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
4-5 cups flour  
1 egg

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
2. Mix warm water, sugar, and yeast until sugar is dissolved. Let sit til you see bubbles. 
3. Begin to gradually add flour and salt until the dough is no longer sticky. 
4. Knead the dough until it is stretchy.
5. Divide the dough into two equal parts and form into two loaves.
6. Place loaves on a greased cookie sheet.
7. Beat egg and brush over top of loaves. 
8. Bake until golden brown. (around 20 minutes)

mine is a little underbaked at this point--you want to keep going a bit past this!

Everett LOVES this bread as a companion to almost anything I cook, but some fresh jam or good honey is the perfect topping to a hot-n-fresh slice.

Enjoy!

--Caroline

Perspective

I was listening to the radio last week, and the guest featured on the show mentioned that his favorite way to regain perspective was to ask himself the following questions:

How will I feel about this situation in 10 minutes?

10 months?

10 years?

I started to ask myself these questions about little fights Everett and I had, and I have been amazed at the results. The questions are short enough to remember, but pointed enough to really change your mind. For example, how much will I care about the boxers on the floor in 10 minutes? Will I even remember them in 10 months? 10 years from now it'll hopefully be our little children's clothes on the floor, so I won't even remember this one time Everett left his in the middle of the living room. I can move on easily and peacefully.

Try it and see what you think! The simplest solutions can be the most effective. My self defense teacher said it best: "I can teach you some complicated stuff that works really well, but you are not going to remember it in a crisis. You are going to remember the stuff that you can make into a reflex, and that'll keep you safe."

I'll be back later this week with some yummy recipes!

--Caroline

Home Making Pt. 1

The Living Room and Kitchen Edition!

We've been in our new apartment for about two months now, and it is finally starting to feel like home. Almost everything we own is vintage or secondhand, and it's a challenge getting it all to go together. The biggest lesson I've learned is how to edit. I have a tendency to put as many pretty things as I can fit in an area, and sometimes that's just not the right move.

----------------------------------------

My fur baby Gracie has found her heaven in this couch we got from my parents. 

 Farmer's Market flowers next to our glorious hardwood stairs. I put a bobby pin cup there because I find them all over the house!

 

 Gallery wall with photos of us, watercolors of Bible verses and a bird by yours truly, and some vintage bird prints from Goodwill.

I can't get over how cute my little girl is in her spot!

 

 My family and hubby made fun of me so much for wanting that cardboard poster of elephants by the "planet earth" series that I found at Goodwill, but I cut slits in it and made it a bill holder. I think that makes me the winner of that argument. I found that chalkboard at Home Depot for $10. They sell 2'x4' pieces of chalkboard material for building supplies, but it works great in my kitchen.

Speaking of my kitchen, it came painted this lovely sage color. I am going to keep that paint color, because it looks oh-so-nice with the tile countertops. I hung a painting with the quote "Food is music to the body, music is food to the heart" over our wedding pictures above the sink. 

Couldn't help but throw in this delicious looking shot of the nectarines and blackberries I got at the farmer's market this weekend. Yum!

I will be posting pics of our new bedroom, Everett's new studio, and my new workspace later this week! Any ideas of what color textiles and paint I should go with for the living room?

Have a blessed week!
--Caroline

Summer To Do List

1. Become a regular at the dog park.
2. Run a 5K with Everett.
3. Establish a regular date night.
4. Have fresh flowers in the house weekly.
5. Find my summer style. (Living in the mountains made me forget how to dress in the heat!)
6. Start and maintain a patio garden.
7. Start every day over coffee with my husband.

What are your summer goals?

--Caroline

Spaghetti and Waffles

We were told this in our premarital counseling, and it comes out in our marriage on a regular basis. This phrase explains some differences in the way men and women think. Men compartmentalize. When approaching a problem, they isolate it like one square of a waffle until it's taken care of. When it makes them upset, they are upset about that one square.

When women are upset, the offending problem is connected to another problem, which is connected to another problem, which is connected... and so on. This is a great mental process for some situations, because we are great at finding relationships between things. However, when something goes wrong, it all goes wrong.

Here's an example: I can't find anything to wear because I'm fat because I don't have time to work out because I am stressed out at work because I have to put in extra hours to make money because I need to pay bills and have money left over to buy clothes because I can't find anything to wear.

Another way to look at it is to imagine your brain like a net. If one section of the net gets pulled down, all the surrounding sections get pulled down with it.

You may find that when you complain about a problem to your husband, he wants to solve that one before you even approach the next one. This is one of the major differences between men and women. Don't freak out that he doesn't understand the relationships between all of your problems. He's showing you love by putting on his emotional workboots to handle that one problem, so accept it! Men are fixers. If you want to cry about all of your problems just to make you feel better, call your mom or a girlfriend. It'll just frustrate him that he can't do anything about it.

It's ok to have problems. It's ok to want to cry. It's not ok to hold your husband accountable for gender differences. Call your girlfriends or mom! Go to the humane society and snuggle with baby puppies! Send me a long email of your problem and I'll pray for it! Whatever you do, realize that your husband loves you and is on your side. Let him in to a little bit of your crazy and he'll do his best to help where he can.

--Caroline

Unrealistic expectations

Our premarital counseling was incredible. Our pastor and his wife gave us amazing life advice and really helped set us up for a happy marriage. One day, our pastor warned us against setting unrealistic expectations. "He might not pick up his clothes every day, she might not wash the dishes every night." He told us to realize that we were going into this as two imperfect humans, and that two imperfect people do not make one perfect marriage.

This is so unbelievably true. We form expectations as a way to deal with the world, but when there is a disconnect between our expectations and reality, we face disappointment. Understanding both what you can realistically expect from your partner and what they can expect from you is one of the best things that can happen to your communication. 

While you should be careful to not become disillusioned with your expectations of each other, here is the greatest truth: you can never have expectations of the Lord that are too high for Him. 

Did you get that?

You can never place an expectation of something good on the Lord and have him reply, "actually, that's a little too much. I don't know if I can handle that." Even typing that makes me want to laugh at how ridiculous it sounds. 

God is the only being who will never let you down. He will never leave you, and he will never stop loving you. He will also never stop rooting for your marriage to be incredible. He created you for each other, and it honors him when you love each other. Expect everything from Jesus, because that is what he wants for you. God wants your marriage to be unrealistically amazing. He wants your love story to be legen(wait for it)dary. Claim that promise and run with it! You are human, but you are loved by the God of the universe!

A friend of mine told me about some conversations she had with women at her work, where she would be talking about something sweet her husband did, and the women would tear her marriage down by placing false expectations of failure onto her man. The women said things like, "Oh girl, you just wait. It's only a matter of time. The romance won't last."

These are lies! The experiences these women speak from are coming out of marriages that were not centered on a perfect and loving God. You are allowed to believe that your marriage will continue to be great, because you have the support and resources you need. Marriage without God is way more difficult to do, but you can set yourself up for success by placing God in His rightful place. Marriage was created to be awesome.

You can have a love story for the ages, even though the house may not always be clean and your words may not always be the right ones. With God at the center, things make a whole lot more sense. 

--Caroline 

Adjustment

Time for an update! We moved three weeks ago. We left the town we met, fell in love, and got married in to start a new life together in Charlotte, NC. I miss my mountains with all of my heart. 

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever love this town as much as I did the mountains, but right now I don't see how that is possible. I want to find the hidden corners of this town like I do my husband's heart, because a desire for constant discovery is essential to loving. 

We moved here for an internship, which my husband loves. I applied for and got a job working in a boutique, and I work as a stylist picking out clothes for women. I love my job, and I adore my coworkers. 

A few days ago, the store had an event for bloggers in the Charlotte area. I met a lot of wonderful women, and I might be joining the group to find some local buddies. I think the hardest thing about this move is that I don't yet have a community. My husband works at an amazing studio and spends time with artists he loves every day, but I only go to work and come home. I am looking forward to finding people to live life with in this town, but right now I am becoming best friends with my fur babies. 

We are currently on the road with John Mark McMillan and the band, but are returning to Charlotte tomorrow. It's been a great couple of days with some rejuvenating worship and fellowship. Expect more posts soon, since I am fighting with the Internet company to give us our service within 3 weeks of what we were promised. 

I can't wait to get this blog revved up again! I really feel like the Lord has some awesome things in store!

Love, 

Caroline

Laughter

My husband just broke our couch. It was my parents’ for several years before we got it two weeks ago, and it has a few rips in the fabric. It is the most comfortable couch we’ve ever owned, it’s a large sectional that fills up the otherwise cavernous living room, and we (as well as the fur babies) love it. Everett decided he was going to climb over the back, and one of the boards in the frame snapped.

I was instantly faced with a choice. Would I get angry, maybe righteously so? Or would I choose to live in love, and let this slide?

I burst into giggles. We both started laughing at the silly man who tried to do the same thing our cat does every day. What could have been a fight became a funny story we’ll remember for a while.

We recently celebrated our first anniversary on May 19th. There was a certain calmness that came after we crossed that threshold, like we knew we could do this. A lot of the advice we got in the season of our wedding was centered on a common theme: laughter. “Keep your sense of humor.” “Laugh together.” “Have fun together.” I even read in an article on communication that in a fight, the least upset person can smile, even (sincerely of course!) laugh to calm the angrier person. Laughter creates friendships over chance occurrences, and gives existing relationships strength through shared experiences. That trite saying, “Live, laugh, love,” can be read as a sequential order of events rather than separate pieces of advice.

Laughter can be holy; it can be sacred. We love a joyful God who loves us and gave us this ability for a reason.

Making silly faces for an email to help a friend feel better.

We are now sitting on our couch on the non-broken section, working on our laptops and snuggling under a blanket. I am really happy, and I am tempted to laugh again when I look at the sagging section. Praise the Lord who created laughter that fills from the toes to the scalp! It’s hard not to be in love with such a God, and hard not to love the man he gave me who makes me laugh like that.

--Caroline

Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!